Insights from Italy: Stay Open to the Blessing (Pt. II)

Caroli Crivelli's Madonna and Child painting, 1482. Vatican Museum, Vatican City. December 23, 2019.

The Vatican museums contain some 70,000+ objects of which only 20,000 are on display. That's an immense amount of treasures! We chose to visit the museum on the same day we retrieved our tickets for the Christmas Eve mass and needless to say, we were overwhelmed!

If the museums are, as the official website notes, to evangelize through art, then they far surpass this task. The intention with art, according to their site, is to promote not only the beauty of a spiritual life, but also the stories. Through time not all could read, but all could be moved by depictions of stories whether through paint or sculpture.

Great works of all sorts were commissioned to 'spread the news' to all walks of life, particularly the poor and illiterate.

In Papa Francesco's* terms, "...the poor are at the centre of the Gospel, which is the greatest thing we have; they are the privileged recipients of divine mercy. If we remove the poor from the Gospel, it no longer makes sense."(1)

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So, on another note, I have a confession to make...

"...the poor are at the centre of the Gospel, which is the greatest thing we have; they are the privileged recipients of divine mercy. If we remove the poor from the Gospel, it no longer makes sense." ~ Papa Francesco (Pope Francis)

*Papa Francesco is the term used to refer to the current pope, Pope Francis.

(1) http://www.museivaticani.va/content/museivaticani/en/musei-del-papa/missione.html

I have a confession to make. I have, on occasion, taken communion during mass without having gone through the formal process of confessing to a priest and doing acts of contrition or penance, as is laid down in the rules of the Catholic tradition.

In 12-step recovery, we are asked to admit to God, ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. This I have done, and continue to do as wrongs are revealed. I have an intimate, ongoing relationship with this "power greater than myself which some call God."

The few times I had taken communion without the formality of confession to a priest, I knew in my heart I had a clean slate with God and was ready to receive the holy nature of Christ into my being, as is the belief for the communion ritual.

I chose to take part in my first 'formal' confession in St. Peter's Cathedral, prior to the Lord's Christmas service on Christmas Eve. I was somewhat nonchalant about it, feeling it was a perfectly natural and yet an important thing to do.

In the larger cathedrals that are usually filled with tourists with their jaws dropped at the stunning art, there are usually side chapels reserved for Catholics to perform their prayers and rituals undisturbed. These areas are sometimes cordoned off and overseen to keep the area sanctified for prayer and practice.

While in the cathedral, Jim and I sat in silent prayer and meditation in a side chapel and then I went into the closed off section where numerous ornate confessionals were arranged.

Confessional. Note the sign which denotes the schedule and languages available. Also note the astounding sculptures just beyond. St. Peter's Basilica, December 13, 2019.

'I was somewhat nonchalant about it, feeling it was a perfectly natural and yet an important thing to do.'

Designed by the Italian artist Gian Lorenzo Bernini, the baldachin at St. Peter's Cathedral is directly under the dome of the basilica. In its Baroque magnificence, it was intended to mark the place of Saint Peter's tomb underneath. St. Peter's Basilica, Vatican City. December 12, 2019.

It's humbling just walking through the Cathedral, even with thousands of others viewing the invaluable treasures with me. It's even more humbling walking through a near empty section without a guide learning for the first time how the confession process works in a country where I don't even speak the language.

As I peaked around the first confessional, I noticed a schedule that included the language spoken as well as the days and times it was 'open'. I found one that could accommodate the English language and was open and found my way to the kneeler. As I knelt down I gave the sign of the cross with my rosary in hand (a rosary that my brother  brought back from his last visit to the Vatican) as is custom, and took a mindfulness moment before speaking the familiar phrase, "Forgive me Father for I have sinned."

"Yes, go on."

"While I have spoke many times directly with God," I hesitated and stuttered, "I have a close relationship with the divine, but this is my first formal confession."

I could hear the priest choke back a bit, "Your first? Oh, uh, well here is a brochure to help you." And through the privacy screen I was handed "The Sacrament of Confession: A guide for adults" pamphlet in English.

"Oh, thank you." I offered, and not feeling comfortable reading it while in the confessional with him, I went on to speak my truth about the things that were currently troubling with my behavior, "I feel I don't always prioritize the relationship with the sacred and God in my life." I continued on including the challenges I have with our current president in the U.S. and the difficulty with his followers.

"I see. Do you wish them harm?"

"No, no. I just wish the harm in our name would stop and he would be removed from power so the damage he is creating could stop."

I hadn't realized how much this situation had been weighing on my heart, but really, a lot of my time since his election has been spent in despair and anger.

After a while of heartfelt disclosure, I ended with, "and of course I'd like to be prepared to take communion during the Christmas Eve mass."

The priest responded simply, "Of course. Of course. Well, stay open to receive the blessing of Papa Francesco. Just stay open to receive the blessing during the service."

"Oh. Okay," I stuttered taken aback. Surely next I was going to receive a litany of 'Hail Marys' and other prayers to recite for penance.

"Do you know the Lord's Prayer?"

"Yes."

"Say one Lord's Prayer."

"Oh, okay, thank you. Thank you."

I went on to recite the prayer and then just sat for a while outside the confessional, near the grand baldachin drinking it all in.

'Stay open to receive the blessing of Papa Francesco. Just stay open to receive the blessing during the service.'

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"What?! You got only one Lord's Prayer?!" Jim said incredulously.

I kinda laughed, "Yeah, why?"

Having received confirmation and being well versed in the usual acts of contrition, which included reciting the rosary or other prayers numerous times depending on the severity of the sin, Jim was astounded that was all I had to do.

"Oh," I said sheepishly shrugging my shoulders.

We both laughed our way onto the next task which was to retrieve our tickets for the Holy Mass.

(To be continued.)

JoAnn Saccato, MA, is a certified teacher with the Mindfulness Training Institute, life coach, author and consultant. She is the author of Companioning the Sacred Journey: A Guide to Creating a Compassionate Container for Your Spiritual Practice and Mindful and Intentional Living: A Path to Peace Clarity and Freedom.

Mindfulness is an umbrella term used for a large body of popular health and wellness practices based on purposefully bringing a curious, kind and non-judgmental attention to moment by moment experience. It is a scientifically proven approach that helps reduce stress and stress-related illnesses, increase focus and attention, decrease incidences of and relapses with depression, reduce anxiety, reduce relapses in addiction, and aids in sleep and digestive disorders. It has also been shown to increase well being, life satisfaction and happiness, as well as improved social relationships.

You can reach JoAnn at [email protected]. To follow her visit: www.MindfulAndIntentionalLiving.com