Seven Ways to Overcome Being a Meditator of Convenience

It happens to a lot of us--over time, our practice wanes and we find ourselves only sitting when the conditions are just so. As the new year approaches, taking a look at our mindfulness practice may reveal gaps and disappointments, particularly if we discover that we have become a Meditator of Convenience.

I recently noticed that this malady has crept into my practice, so I dug deep to remember tools and approaches to help me find my compassionate way back to a steady and loving practice.

What is a Meditator of Convenience?

A meditator who practices only when conditions are optimum

The interesting thing about mindfulness and compassion practices is we don’t realize the full benefit on and off our cushion unless we actually do the practices as intended. While some immediate benefit is usually always actualized during the sitting, the real juice comes from a sustained practice over time, as the benefits spill over into the rest of our lives. This is where being a Meditator of Convenience can backfire and produce the opposite results—namely, make it more difficult to accept life as it is. Acceptance is key to releasing the pressure and pain of expectation in our lives and our ability to experience more emotional freedom and choice in response to life's offerings.

If you find yourself making excuses to not practice--your too tired, too hot, too hungry, don't have time, etc.--you, too, may be battling symptoms of the Meditator of Convenience syndrome. Here are some simple guidelines to help you:

1. First, start small - If your time to practice is too long or you're starting with a 7-day a week commitment, you may be setting yourself up for failure. Just as with coaching commitments, starting with smaller commitments and building from there creates opportunity for long-term success. For practice, begin with brief periods of time (5-10 minutes) and number of sessions per week (2-3). You'll quickly gain confidence through your success rates AND immediately receive benefits from your regular practice. Save longer sitting periods for more opportune times such as weekends and vacations. After a few weeks of success, you can modify your commitments to meet your particular situation. You will most likely want to practice more often for longer periods because the payoff is immediate.
2. Set a consistent practice time - If you commit to meditating three times per week, block those times in your calendar in advance and, barring an emergency, honor your commitment to yourself as much as you would your most important responsibility. This way, whether you’re tired, anxious or fidgety, you will learn how to be present with these states of being. Take an attitude of, "Okay, this is what a tired body feels like." or "Here's the busy mind again." and get curious about those experiences.
3. Modify your practice to support ease - It is exceptionally rare to have a calm, settled mind every time you sit. Cultivating supportive options, such as taking a few relaxing deep breaths, placing a hand on your belly to better engage with the natural breath, or starting with a spacious awareness exercise may bring more ease, comfort and pleasantness to your session. 
4. Meet what is with love - Just as life brings unavoidable difficulties, practice may bring periods of uncomfortableness. The invitation in both situations is to bring a kind, loving awareness to it. Let the difficulty or pain become your area of focus for brief period, bringing that same open curiosity as you do to your anchor. What do you notice? With physical discomfort, is there tightness? Pain? If so, is it shooting? Stabbing? Dull? Achy? What happens when you bring a caring, warm attention to it? A soft open breath to the area of discomfort? With emotional pain, can you hold yourself with loving accpetance? Can you meet yourself with a tender heart as you would a small child who is hurting? This, too. This, too. Meet these difficulties with love and kindness.
5. Stay "seated" - If the discomfort is too much to bear--the Inner Critic is headlong into a self-berating rant or the pain in the thigh is excruciating--forgive yourself and make some compassionate adjustments, staying commited to practice for the full period. Just as we adjust how we can to help make extremely difficult circumstances in life more bearable, mindfulness practice, too, deserves to have our loving compassion. If you've tried all your usual tools and still are unable to sit with what is, try shifting your posture for physical pain (try a standing or supine posture) or, for a busy mind, change your practice to counting breaths until the bell rings. Remaining earnest in your attempts to be present with whatever arises in a session (it's what builds your mindfulness muscle) and knowing when to ease up is a delicate balance that can be learned over time. Be kind with yourself as you find this balance and error on the side of tender leniency. 
6. Sit with others - Even after a steady sitting practice for over 20 years, I'm continually amazed at how sitting with others strengthens my resolve,  deepens my practice and adds an energetic ease during the practice period. While you may not be able to sit with someone every time you practice, cultivating a community of practitioners where you can share your experience can provide immediate, positive results. Talking about your experiences can help you remember your struggles are not your own, but part of the human condition. Here, you can meet yourself and your difficulties with the kindness you would afford another.
7. Attend a course or retreat - Set aside a block of time to cultivate and strengthen your practice with a teacher. Spending a few dedicated hours, a day, or a number of days in retreat affords the opportunity to step out of our daily lives and activity, building a deeper practice that can rarely be attained within busy schedules. My annual extended retreat (7-10 days) and supportive daylongs throughout the year always reveal a stronger, relaxed and grounded practice, which I usually don't recognize it until I've taken retreat. Committing to regular extended practice periods in advance is most helpful.
   

As the official resolution-setting time of year nears, referring to these tools to help you shore up your commitment and success and will have you embodying the benefits of a mindfulness practice more fully in no time. Your Meditator of Convenience will turn into a Meditator of Strength and Resolve.