Finding and extending gratitude during difficult times

As we find ourselves 8+ months into the COVID-19 pandemic with worsening conditions, along with the attempted derailment of the usual transfer of power in the United States after a tense election, the continued opening of deep and scaring wounds from racial injustice, a climate in crisis that is continually being denied by a large segment of the power elite in one of the largest contributing nations on the planet, and ongoing natural disasters that continue to outdo their predecessors, it's hard to find the wherewithal to practice gratitude, much less extend it.

But, while finding moments of gratitude can be challenging, those small moments can add up to big shifts in our inclination in our day-to-day life, as well as provide protective factors against the ongoing stress and trauma we find ourselves in today.

The science* on gratitude is hopeful:

• Many studies over the past decade or so point to conscious gratitude resulting in greater happiness and less depression.
  
• Cardiac patients that were grateful reported better sleep, less fatigue, and lower levels of cellular inflammation.
  
• A shift to gratitude can shift our attention from negative thoughts and emotions.
• Allows for more resiliency after traumatic events.
• Encourages the development of other virtues such as patience, humility, and wisdom.
• Inspires people to be more generous, kind, and helpful.
• Strengthens relationships.
• May help employees work more effectively, feel more satisfied, and act more helpfully and respectfully toward their coworkers.

*Taken from The Science of Gratitude: A white paper prepared for the John Templeton Foundation by the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley.

As with all the benefits from our mindfulness and loving kindness practices, practicing when things are smooth and easy going helps embed them in our minds more easily and readily, but what happens when things are challenging?

When we are in fight/flight/freeze response, it is much more difficult to practice these beneficial behaviors. Over time, this can mean a diminishing of our capacity to respond lovingly  and with care.

Here are four key factors that can help us shift out of fear, anger, anxiety and reconnect to the felt sense of gratitude goodness:

1. Create a sense of safety. Connecting to the safety of this moment through a simple mindfulness exercise that grounds our attention in the body and our immediate surroundings.
2. Open the heart to the goodness of the moment. Orient toward any sensations or sense experiences (like pleasant sounds, sights, fragrances) that you can experience directly in the present moment. Explore and linger with the felt sense in the body.
3. Feel 'thank you'. Purposefully orient toward inwardly saying thank you and focus on the felt sense in the body. You can use words to support you, but keep 90% of your attention on the felt sense of the experience of thank you. Notice if there's softening, opening, warmth or a smile that develops over time.
4. Extend gratitude. Once the felt sense of gratitude is established for the goodness in the present moment, you can then orient that gratitude toward recent events, people and places that you hold dear. Once off the cushion, allow this gratitude to take form in some meaningful way. If it's toward a person, send a card or give a call with the essence of the gratitude included. If it's toward a special place, like a forest, offer a gesture that supports its wellness in addition to feeling the gratitude. Maybe picking up litter, or planting a new tree or taking action with legislatures to protect it.

This practice not only shifts your current experience, it creates a new habit and orientation in the brain that makes it more readily accessible during difficult times and non-stressful times--it becomes a protective factor. It also ripples out to all you come into contact with following the experience. And during these challenging times, we can all use a bit more warmth, caring and connection.

Here's a guided version of this meditation from the Mindful and Intentional Living Facebook page.

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JoAnn Saccato, MA is a mindfulness teacher specializing in disaster and trauma resiliency and learning the self through nature. As a mindfulness-based life coach, she helps others align heart, mind and body with their deepest values and intentions to live a deeply authentic life they can truly love.

JoAnn lives in the hills of Northern California and travels the world over with her curiosity and teachings. She is the author of Companioning the Sacred Journey: A Guide to Creating a Compassionate Container for Your Spiritual Practice and Mindful and Intentional Living: A Path to Peace, Clarity and Freedom.