Staying Grounded and Spacious During Prolonged Times of Difficulty

View of Middletown valley, California.

Our tendency during times of threat—perceived or actual—is to shift into anxiety or survival mode. We’re hardwired for this. Our negativity bias goes on high alert and is on the look out for threats, what’s wrong, what’s out of place, what isn’t working. As part of this, today we may find ourselves fixating on social media or news reports or other stimulating media that can support activation of stress and anxiety in our hearts, minds and bodies.

So, how do we remain connected to our best resources—a vibrant, healthy body; a clear mind with access to deep wisdom; and an open and loving heart—to meet and navigate through difficult times, particularly extended ones, such as the Covid-19 situation?

Dogwood tree blooms. Cobb, CA

There are a many things we can turn to to help balance out our nervous systems and restore a quality of balanced ease. A lot of them fall into four areas, namely balance out our fixation, ground attention into the present moment through the body, develop spaciousness in the mind, and cultivate a compassionate and balanced heart:

• Balance out fixation with the goodness that also exists - In other words, be mindful of where we orient our attention. While it’s true that the situation at hand is enormous and the threat is real—lives have been lost, lives have been upended at work creating enormous financial burden and sometimes ruin, relationships are being stretched beyond repair—it is also true that much remains that is generally good in nature, offering moments of pleasantness and delight. Whatever season we’re in is still unfolding it’s magic and beauty. Countless acts of simple and lavish generosity are happening across the globe every second of the day. The opportunity to slow down, giving us time to tend to our health, spend time with loved ones, count our blessings, and take a break is rare and unique for a lot of us. In this time of difficulty, turning our attention to these truths as much, if not more, than glueing our attention to the harsher realities can help ground us in a compassionate realism and grateful perspective. It helps put the truth into perspective.
  

...it is also true that much remains that is generally good in nature, offering moments of pleasantness and delight.

• Ground attention into the present moment through the body - Stress and anxiety triggers tend to disconnect us from our body and instead, engages us—sometimes intensely—in our thinking minds. Gently bringing our awareness into the body in the present moment can do much to help the nervous system regain balance and help restore a clear, flexible, realistic awareness of reality. A few options that can help us maintain and/or restore us to balance are:
  • Establish a felt sense of connection with the earth - bringing attention to the feet and their connection to whatever surface has a stabilizing effect. The closer we are to the dirt of the earth the better, but we can see how whatever surface we’re on eventually trickles down to connect to the earth. We can use this visualization as it serves us.
  • Nature - provides a powerful resource that can restore trust, serenity, connection and tranquility. Spending time outside in curious connection with your natural surroundings can be restorative.  Taking simple meandering walks with no purpose but to discover what is happening in our part of the earth can be refreshing and reconnecting.
    
  • Earthing - deepening our connection with the earth by engaging all the senses—touching, holding, bare skin in direct contact with the earth has added benefit.
  • Human connection - sincere and meaningful conversations with those we care for, trust and can relate to can help bring a sense of ease and peace. Be sure to engage with eye contact and, if possible, a caring touch.
  • Pet connection - petting, snuggling and caring for a pet has positive benefits for our nervous system.
  • Beauty - Mindfully absorbing beauty into our psyche can bring in a sense of joy and wonder.
  • Gratitude - Reflect on the good fortune of our circumstances.

Nature provides a powerful resource that can restore trust, serenity, connection and tranquility.

• Develop spaciousness of mind - Attention fixates on objects—sounds, sensations, physical objects, etc. It wants to hold onto something, which has a tendency to narrow our perspective. Cultivating spaciousness in the mind can bring a sense of ease from the sometimes gripping torment of an obsessed mind. Here’s a few ideas to loosen that fixation:
  • Orient to the spaces in between - whether it’s sounds, physical space, or the breath, we can learn to become more aware of our full experience by noticing the spaces in between—spaces of silence between sounds, the physical space between you and a sound,  the spaces between you and the objects around you, pauses in between the in and the out breath, etc.
  • Stretch your capacity to receive - focusing on sound or the breath has an added benefit generating an opportunity to receive rather than needing to create something. Sounds happen, the breath happens, sensations happen. They arise in our awareness and nothing need be done.
  • Notice the space around your body - whether you’re inside or outside, see if you can expand your awareness to include all 360 degrees around you. Start with a panoramic sweeping of your attention around you and then see if you can keep awareness broad and inclusive of the 360 degrees.

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Image by Ben Kerckx from Pixabay

The grace of goodness in your life in this moment may have nothing to do with something you’ve done or haven’t done—and it may change in any given moment.

• Cultivate a compassionate and balanced heart - Take care with the heart during this time. Our human tendency is toward compassion, which is a loving gesture of wanting to help when we see suffering. But compassion is not to be confused with empathy—when we take on the feelings and emotions of those suffering—which can lead to empathy burnout—exhaustion in our emotional and physical body. Some things we can do to keep our hearts balanced:
  • Tend to yourself and loved ones first - keeping yourself balanced and in good health opens the possibility for you to be helpful when needed most.
  • Refrain from picking up the guilt - No one is exempt from difficulties in this life. There are untold instances of suffering happening at any given moment on the planet, just as there are untold instances of beauty, grace and prosperity. Guilt is more about recognizing our good fortune and comparing it with others. Rather than getting lost in the guilt, shift instead to gratitude for your blessings. The grace of goodness in your life in this moment may have nothing to do with something you’ve done or haven’t done—and it may change in any given moment. See this as a good time to cultivate gratitude for your goodness and compassion for those that suffer. Rather than exhaustive burnout or running from guilt, you’ll have far more energy to help, which leads to:
    
  • Reach out to support as you can - Let your privilege and compassion move you into action. Once your needs are met, see how you can help others. In this time of sheltering in place, there’s lot’s we can do that won’t jeopardize our own health. Here’s just a few ideas:
    • Make phone/video calls to those you know live alone.
    • Donate to or volunteer for local, regional or global organizations that are working with the under-served. You may be able to do something remotely that is really important.
    • Reach out to first responders and health care workers you know to see what they need for support. Be sure to shower them in appreciative kindness for their many efforts.
    • Call your local retirement or nursing facility and see if there’s anyone you can chat with over the phone.
    • Look for ways you can support the entertainers or other businesses you like. There are lots of new ways we’re receiving music, comedy and more and since their way of generating income has drastically changed, this can be especially meaningful.

In summary, staying balanced during prolonged periods of difficulty is an ongoing dance and a moment by moment practice. Our capacity to stay in balance shifts and changes in each moment and so it’s extremely important to know and honor that capacity as we become aware of it.

It’s best if we can work to maintain rather than having to recover our balance. Staying present through connection with our direct experience is vital and serves us in many ways: it decreases the likelihood we’ll sway too far out of balance; it increases access to choice in our response; it can help us discern the most skillful thing we can do to support ourselves; and, most importantly, it helps our nervous system do it’s job to keep us regulated. All of these optimize our capacity for resilience, flexibility, helping others, and our ability to experience the inevitable joy, love, and goodness that is present right now.

We can consciously cultivate groundedness and spaciousness as a means to steady our nervous system and grow our capacity for managing these difficulties of our time.

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Author

JoAnn Saccato, MA, is a certified teacher with the Mindfulness Training Institute, life coach, author and consultant. She is the author of Companioning the Sacred Journey: A Guide to Creating a Compassionate Container for Your Spiritual Practice and Mindful and Intentional Living: A Path to Peace Clarity and Freedom.

Mindfulness is an umbrella term used for a large body of popular health and wellness practices based on purposefully bringing a curious, kind and non-judgmental attention to moment by moment experience. It is a scientifically proven approach that helps reduce stress and stress-related illnesses, increase focus and attention, decrease incidences of and relapses with depression, reduce anxiety, reduce relapses in addiction, and aids in sleep and digestive disorders. It has also been shown to increase well being, life satisfaction and happiness, as well as improved social relationships.

You can reach JoAnn at [email protected]. To follow her visit: www.MindfulAndIntentionalLiving.com